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Mark your calendars. It's time for another Apocalypse.

June 30, 2012 is the date. Mark your calendars. Jesus said so.

This has been a busy couple of years for apocalypses. Last year, we had at least two that I wrote about and so far this year, I've written about another two. As I mentioned above, there's one coming up in another week or so and, if that doesn't work out, there's that old Mayan calendar end of the world to look forward to. Joss Whedon, in writing the Buffy and Angel series, probably thought he was packing a fair number of them into the two series, but these last couple of years have got him beat.

As you all know, the End Of The World (tm) has been coming  on and off for, oh, at least a couple of thousand years. Jesus himself said that some of his apostles would live to see the end of the world. "Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled." (Matthew 24:34) But what did Jesus know? It's not like the guy had the Bible to refer to. So let's cut old JC some slack, shall we?

Having the Bible to refer to does not guarantee success though. Harold Camping famously said that the world would end on May 21, 2011 and then, when it didn't happen, he updated his message and said that May 21 was just the beginning of the end of the world and that the real deal would take place around Halloween. 

Fast forward a few months and we've got Ronald Weinland who said the End of the World would take place May 27, 2012. That didn't happen either.

If you were pining for an Apocalypse, maybe June 30th will be your day. The Man Christ Jesus has said that it will happen. That man is Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, the charismatic leader of "Growing in Grace International", a Christian sect that believes that divine power will execute all of us who aren't part of the group and, by extension, have not been saved.

Now I do have to say that this particular Apocalypse will be different than all the others. Not in the sense that anything will happen mind you, but the big thing about this particular Apocalypse is that the world won't be destroyed. That's right. The planet gets a pass and while most of us will be axed by God, members of Growing in Grace will get a special prize. Jose Luis, the Man God Jesus -- yes, Jose is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ -- says that members will be transformed. And they'll get superpowers!  They'll be able to fly, walk through walls, and they'll be immortal. How cool is that?

Like Harold Camping, this guy has a respectable following with members in 130 countries. He also has radio stations pumping out his message of transformation 24 hours a day and a TV network. And they have billboards in major cities across the US and Canada. There's even one in Toronto on Bloor Street West. The group's members can be identified, in many cases, by the number '666' tatooed on their bodies. While most people think of 666 as the number of the beast, the group suggests it is the number of wisdom, a symbol of the coming transformation. It's a complicated explanation of the Apostle Paul's depiction of Jesus Christ. 

You see, according to Luis (sorry, I mean, Jesus Christ), Antichrist, as explained by Paul, means "no longer following Jesus of Nazareth as he lived in the days of his flesh" so it's more like an Uber-Christ, or a Super-Christ. You see? So branding yourself with a '666' tattoo means you're following the evolution of Christ, so to speak. And so, on June 30, the group will take over the entire world. IN the words of Jesus, "A government where we will govern everything with a perfect order. This is my last farewell for you. The time is finished. We will see each other soon in Armageddon."

Before you run off to make your final preparations, again, check out the video below.  Enjoy. The end is nigh. Again.

 

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Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is the mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus."

Thomas Jefferson